Our testimonies have great power through Jesus to crush the enemy and help not only ourselves but others find freedom and direction in life! Michelle shares her story when she was on the verge of death due to a considerable loss of blood, she realized even deeper the meaning behind “life in the blood” of Jesus!
I never imagined I would have encountered what I did summer 2014. For years, I have been very healthy, eating all organic foods with a high amount of raw and whole food fruits and vegetables, making most of my foods from scratch. Even in 2013 when I had applied for Life Insurance, my blood-work came back in the top-tier: my insurance agent said that I could get the highest $ amount of life insurance because A. My health has never been truly compromised and B. I was in the “Elite” category of blood health. So for several years, ever since I’ve been living this type of “healthy” lifestyle, I’ve felt almost “invincible” with my health. Also, it should be noted that in the last 4 years, I had been pregnant and had 2 healthy, normal pregnancies and deliveries. Zero complications and beautiful, healthy babies. My children, now 2 and 3 years old, still have never had any major health issues except for maybe a couple short-lived colds, which may have been teething related. Again, I believe this is health within my family has been largely due to God exposing to us the ability to be self-educated in this area.
All of that to say, I found out in Mid-May that I was again pregnant. Of course, we were enthusiastic and excited for the gift of another child. Within a few day of finding out I was pregnant, I experienced some light bleeding (around 7 weeks). I was, of course, concerned as I had never experienced any bleeding during my other pregnancies. Again, I had only ever had “normal” pregnancies that went to full term with healthy babies. But, I sought out some advice and found out that this light bleeding could usually be considered normal. So, I decided to wait and if anything continued to happen, I would go to the doctors. Sure enough, a week later, I woke during the middle of the night to use the bathroom, and there was some light bleeding. That morning, we went to the hospital where they did an ultrasound to see if the baby was forming in the proper place of the uterus. They told me that sometimes (rarely) a baby will form inside one of the fallopian tubes (the tubes connecting the ovaries, where eggs are produced, to the uterus, where the baby’s placenta attaches and grows). This is called an Ectopic Pregnancy. If not recognized (through ultrasound), the uterus or tubes could rupture. They then proceeded to tell me that, if there is a rupture, it could be immediately fatal for both mother & baby.
So, did the ultrasound show that I had this “Ectopic Pregnancy”? No, it didn’t. Everything came back showing that I had a normal pregnancy and they sent me home saying that I should just take it easy and feel comfortable that the bleeding was nothing to worry about. About 3 weeks went by and I had no continued bleeding.
About a month prior to these events my family had just moved in faith from Connecticut to Kentucky. Unknowingly, our season in Kentucky was to be shorter than we had imagined. We had planned to live in Christian community (commune) for an undetermined amount of time. We thought the time we were to live with them was going to be much longer than the time that actually transpired: We arrived in Kentucky on Friday, April 18th, and we were back in Connecticut on Friday, June 6th.
The events that were to happen next were some of the most stretching things that ever happened to me emotionally, physically & spiritually. Now, I will have to say that I may be considered quite fortunate to not have endured anything to this degree up to this point in my life being that I am “only” in my late 20s. Whatever way you want to look at it, as much as these events were very difficult for me to walk through at the time, I am very thankful they transpired for many different reasons, some of which I will discuss later on.
Now to what actually happened to me. Well, it was Thursday, June 12th, less than a week from the time that I arrived back in Connecticut at about 8:30pm. I had just finished nursing & putting to bed my (at the time) 20 month old son. I had gone to the kitchen to finish up some last minute dishes at the sink. Then, out of nowhere, I started having sharp stabbing pains in my lower abdomen area which reminded me of contractions but the pain seemed to be much more painful than any contraction that I could ever remember…the pain was at least an 8 out of 10. I was 14 weeks pregnant and I thought I may be have a miscarriage. I came out to the living room and laid down on the bed that was on the floor. I thought to myself that if it really were a contraction that it would surely go away eventually. Well, several minutes went by as I lay on my side in constant 8 out of 10 pain. I began to cry, shiver and shake. I had never done any of these things when I had contractions with my other children. My husband was by my side at this point and we decided to call our midwife who directed us to go to the emergency room. I went to try to get up to walk down to the car so we could go to the Emergency Room but almost fell over in pain trying to do so because I just couldn’t move. My husband called 911, and I began to feel relieved knowing that surely someone would help me make the pain go away real soon.
By the time the First Responder came on scene (he lives on my street), it had been about 12 minutes of constant pain (or more). Honestly, when you’re in pain like that, you really can’t think about anything BUT the pain. One thing that I’ll never forget is that while we were waiting for the Ambulance to arrive, my father came over to me and prayed in Jesus name that I would be supernaturally healed. And honestly, I believe that the prayers of a parent go deep and within a few minutes of him praying, my pain level DID slightly go down. So once the ambulance finally arrived, filled out their paperwork, and put me on a stretcher to carry me out to the ambulance, it had been at least another 10 minutes. I just remember thinking over and over how long everything was taking because I was in SO much pain. I thought that once you called 911 that within a very short window of time they would quickly usher you to the Ambulance and get you to the hospital. Well, that didn’t happen. Once in the Ambulance, it took another 10-15 minutes ride (we were going the speed limit) to get to the hospital. On the way I threw up (making the pain go down some more) and was then stuck with more than one needle to try to get a tube in me if I were to need fluids. The staff on the Ambulance were not able to get into a vein. Then, I remember them just chatting about their lives and ignoring me almost the whole way there. Once I arrived at the hospital, my pain had gone down to a 5 out of 10 and I could (slowly) walk. I used the bathroom and then sat in the waiting room for another 45 minutes or more. Once in the hospital room, I had various doctors come in and poke and prod and ask questions. They thought I had an ovarian cyst rupture and were talking about letting me go. But first, I had to wait for an ultrasound to make sure it was just that…an ovarian cyst rupture. That took another hour or so for the ultrasound tech to arrive as it was almost 10pm. Following the ultrasound, the doctor told me that the baby was doing fine but that there was some fluid in my abdomen. They still thought it was an ovarian cyst rupture and gave me the option to leave the hospital if I felt like it. Because I was still in pain, I decided to stay and wait until morning to see if things would improve. They told me that if it was just a cyst rupture that the fluid in my abdomen would be reabsorbed by the body and they would be able to see this in a subsequent ultrasound the following morning. So I stayed, took some pain meds, was not allowed to eat anything, and waited it out to the following morning. Later on my midwife told me that if I had chosen to go home, that I probably would have died.
That friday morning they could see that the fluid had gone up in my abdomen and wanted to keep me to continue to monitor me. Of course, the fluid in my abdomen was considered to be mostly blood. And from blood draws, they could also see that my blood count had gone down considerably. After some time on Friday, June 13th, I started to feel very tired and weak. I was still not allowed to eat anything. Something I didn’t mention was that when I would lay certain ways, I would get sharp nerve pains up my sides and into my shoulder. That pain was a 9 out of 10 easily. It wasn’t continuous pain but only when I tried to lay/sit a certain way. And that nerve pain got worse throughout Friday and into the evening.
This whole time I was so thankful to be in Connecticut. It was certainly God’s hand on me to be in Connecticut with the support of my immediate family and close friends. My mom even got out of work and met the me, my husband & the ambulance at the hospital when I had first arrived. My father was able to stay at the house with our children already in bed. It really was a perfect situation with so much support. And beyond that, on that Friday evening when I was in the weakest place physically that I have ever felt, on top of my supportive family, a couple amazing intercessory prayer girlfriends came by and prayed with me. I am very thankful for this. I needed this strength spiritually and emotionally for what was about to happen the next morning.
For some reason the doctors continued to leave me to “wait and see” whether I would improve especially since the baby continued to show a normal heartbeat. So on Saturday morning, June 14th, I went in for another ultrasound. The ultrasound tech wanted to raise up my pelvis with a wedge cushion to be able to be able to get the best view of everything. When he did this, I felt the most pain I have ever felt throughout my entire upper body. The midwife who was observing immediately had the cushion taken out from underneath me. She knew exactly what was happening…the blood/fluid that was building up in my abdomen had moved up my abdomen to my nervous system when my pelvis was lifted. She explained that sometimes when there is fluid in the abdomen, that nerves will respond in shock and bring pain to most of the upper body. That is exactly what happened to me.
Following this, the midwife, after conferring with the ultrasound tech and speaking with a few other doctors (who came in to view my case specifically), told me one of the hardest things I’ve heard in my life: the baby no longer had a heartbeat. She then went on to tell me that I continue to have fluid leaking into my abdomen (which she still thought was from a ruptured cyst). She said that she would suggest I sign the paperwork to go into emergency surgery within the next two hours to have the baby removed (DNC) and have a laparoscopy to suck out some of the fluid. Both things, she said were low-risk surgeries. She concluded by saying that, in the rare chance that it’s needed, she would have me go in for a laparotomy (a 6 inch cut across the abdomen to fully open up a large area for surgery). The emotions I felt at this point were mostly filled with shock, anxiety, sadness & a lack of control. I truly had to give this situation up to Jesus.
What came next was something that I am truly blessed to have experienced. And it is something that I know God has now used to bring me in deeper relationship with Him. It’s actually the reason that got me to write this testimony. Before surgery, the doctors knew that I had lost a lot of blood in my abdomen. My blood count was low and they told me that a blood transfusion was necessary prior of surgery. On top of everything else, I now was faced with a decision, take the transfusion or it may be fatal. I really had no idea how important it was for me to have the transfusion at the time, but I really didn’t want someone else’s blood going into my body. What if it wasn’t as healthy as mine? What if it got me sick? What if it killed me? I really had no choice. I had to get the transfusion. And as funny as those thoughts may sound, having terrible experience most of my childhood up to my early college years with the medical route made me nervous.
But again, I had no other choice. I had to have the surgery & the blood transfusion. I felt helpless with no control. Reflecting back on that now, I can see how that position that I was put in was certainly rough but also very beautiful. Beautiful because of the fact that the ONLY thing I could do at that point was to “Fully Rely On God”..FROG.
So as I sat in the hospital room chair processing everything that had happened to me and not knowing what was really going to happen next, I did place things in Jesus’s hands. The nurse came over and hooked up my IV to the blood transfusion. I watched as the blood made it’s way down the tube from it’s bag slowly inching it’s way to my arm. I kept thinking, “ok God, You are in control”. and “okay God, You know what is going to happen to me next once the blood hits my veins, either my body will accept it or reject it”. Of course, I can say now that I was surely being a little more paranoid about the blood than I truly had to be.
Once the blood hit my veins I just closed my eyes and prayed. Within minutes, I could not believe how GOOD I felt. I had gone from feeling weak, tired, and in pain, to feeling full of life, strength, and energy. I told the midwife that was to do my surgery that maybe all I needed was the transfusion, and I’d just pass the baby naturally and be on my way. Maybe I didn’t need the surgery? Of course, she explained that she wasn’t surprised that I was feeling so well. She said that my blood count was very low prior to the transfusion and that I hadn’t realized how bad the situation really was. She said that normally, with a blood count as low as I had it that I shouldn’t have been functioning even as well as I had been. And now that I had more blood in me, I was coming back to “life” in a sense.
There is LIFE in the Blood.
So on I went to surgery. It all happened so fast. Thinking back, I had such a strength throughout this entire thing. I remember laying in the prep room right next to where I was about to have surgery. My husband was able to come with me that far. He prayed with me, gave me a kiss, and went out to the waiting room. Within minutes I was wheeled into the operating room. I remember only 20-30 seconds of the operating room before I passed out from the drugs. The people operating on me seemed happy and light-hearted which made me feel good. So, I closed my eyes as I got too tired to hold them open.
Next thing I remember was waking up to pain. It was at least a 5 out of 10. I immediately started asking for pain meds. One of the women who assisted the midwife in operating on me told me that the surgery went well and that the midwife had gone to report to my husband. I was then taken back up to my hospital room where my husband met me. I was still pretty groggy at the time and so there were some things that I don’t remember that my husband told me happened.
My husband told me that the midwife reviewed what had happened in surgery. She told us that I was very lucky to be alive. On top of the one bag of blood transfusion that they had given to me prior to the surgery, they had to give me another 2 more during surgery. Beyond that, they told me that when they had gone in with the camera and a suction tube with some small incisions, they could see that there was a hole at the top of my uterus. So they immediately had to do a laparotomy on me, opening up 6 inches of my lower abdomen to get to my uterus. Upon seeing my uterus, they could tell that again, the baby was a completely normal pregnancy and should have not compromised my uterus. They concluded that my uterus spontaneously ruptured at the very top of the uterus where it is at it’s strongest. It is the part of the uterus that actually contracts and pushes the baby out when the baby is born.
They had no explanation as to why it happened and to this day, after seeing other specialists, there is no good answer as to how it happened. And although that was hard to hear, what was the hardest thing for me emotionally out of all of this was to be told that I would be risking my life if I were to ever get pregnant again. I had wanted more children, at least one or two more.
It took me 3 more days in the hospital to build up a good blood count, be able to get on my feet (in pain), and be given the okay to go home. In those 3 days following surgery, I had more needles stuck in me than I can remember, more emotions tapped into than ever before, and more of Jesus than I’ve ever recognized before. It’s not that my situation brought more of Jesus to me, but more of me to Jesus. The devil didn’t gain anything from all this, and this plain speaking I make is only to relate to others and be real.
The days that followed my surgery continued to be rough: I did a lot of growing in a very short time.
And as for the baby that went home to be with Jesus….I truly believe she was a girl. A few weeks prior to these events, while we were still living in Kentucky, I felt the Lord impress upon me that she is to have a Jewish/Hebrew name with the meaning “I can’t live without God”. After a brief search, I came across the name “Kaiyah”. It meant exactly that: “I can’t live without God”, also “grace” and “resting place”. The meaning of “Kaiyah” is the same as that of the Primrose flower which is also my tatoo wedding band & the logo for my blog, The Happy Life. And so, I felt confident to name her “Kaiyah”. And then when she was taken before I was able to hold her in my own arms, I knew that was her name. God reassured me through her name that she “can’t live without Him”. Since she has gone Home, I have had a few visions of her in Heaven having a blast. Actually, she told me that I could visit her, in spirit, whenever I wanted to and we could play and explore together. In Heaven, I’ve seen her as a 5-7 year old girl, long brown very wavy hair. She has shown me around Heaven, and I am so happy she has the best Home in all eternity. God has given me much freedom in this.
Just another note to all the friends and family that came to visit me while I was in and out of the hospital: I know that each one of you played a very special role in the protection of my life and my healing towards wholeness: body, mind, soul & spirit. And for that, I will always be forever grateful. And to God who has given me such an amazing community of love. His heart is my Home.
Life is truly in the blood. That is the most significant word the Lord has prompted me to share with my story. As I’ve already stated, when I lost blood in the natural, I felt so lifeless. And God has shown me that it is the same in the spiritual. God has created us human but we are certainly spiritual beings. And without the blood of Jesus pumped into our spiritual veins, we feel truly “lifeless”. So let’s choose the blood of Jesus to fill up our spiritual veins with life. The Bible says that God’s free gift to us is Jesus’s blood which covers all impurities, no matter what it is, God has got it covered! And once we believe that Jesus died for our sins and rose from the dead conquering death, we have 100% access to that life-giving Jesus blood! Furthermore, I believe that the blood of Jesus gives life to the Holy Spirit in all believers.
This Holy Spirit was given to fill you up, to remind you of what to be thankful for, to bear good fruit in your life, to be your eternal Guide. Don’t know what to do with your life? Don’t know how to break old habits? Don’t feel confident in who you are? Don’t feel loved? Don’t know how to be joyful when everything in the world just seems to be falling apart? Jesus sent us Holy Spirit to take care of those questions because Jesus knew we would have those questions and need the answers Holy Spirit gives.
Leviticus 17:11 talks about the life of any living thing being in it’s blood. And the blood, for those in the Old Testament serving the Lord, represented a sacrificing of life for the sake of another. In the case of the Old Testament, the blood used to sacrifice was from that of an animal. God laid the foundation of the necessity of sacrificing blood because of those believing in Him to be free from their sin. Sin is just so ugly…makes us feel rotten and trapped and invites more evil into our lives if not addressed and brought before the Lord. The Lord, having created us, knew we needed a way out of this entrapment. And for those in the Old Testament, the blood of the animals was to be that sacrifice, bringing forgiveness, freedom, and new life to His followers. For those in the New Testament, Jesus’s blood is that true sacrifice that once and for all people was made. We no longer have to sacrifice the lesser blood of animals but have the highest blood sent from Heaven through our Savior Jesus. And for this, I am truly grateful.
Finally, testimonies are VERY powerful. In Revelations 12, God talks about how the enemy of our souls (the Devil) will be crushed by the word of our testimony and the blood of Jesus. Partnered up with Jesus, no matter what our story is, we can certainly bring LIFE to ourselves and the world around us! Let’s go! This. Is. Life.